Keep Your Corner Strong

7 Mistakes People Make in Maintaining Healthy Relationships

“The person who walks with wise people will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.” — Proverbs 13:20

This timeless scriptural proverb reminds us of the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who can guide us in making wise decisions. Whether CEO’s of major corporations, presidents, leaders of nations, all of these people have a cabinet of people to ensure they are making wise decisions. One area in which we need wise counsel is in our relationships. We should prioritize who we put in our “cabinet” or corner just as fiercely as leaders of nations and companies do. Maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for success (not just financially), but many people (we’ve all been there) often make mistakes that hinder their ability to do so. I want to talk about 7 areas many people overlook when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships and provide a behavior or habit that can help avoid making those mistakes.

Not Setting Healthy Boundaries

One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is not setting healthy boundaries. This mistake can lead to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout. To avoid this mistake, it is important to clearly communicate your needs and expectations to the people in your life. This includes setting boundaries that protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. You can do this by saying no when you feel that it is necessary, delegating tasks (especially when you can’t perform all of your tasks by yourself), and prioritizing self-care. If the relationships in your life do not support or allow you to do the things that bring you peace and balance (like working out, going for walks, journaling, etc.), then it may be time to start putting necessary boundaries up.

Ignoring Red Flags

Another common mistake people make is ignoring red flags in relationships. This can apply for all areas of life, whether a significant other or friend. These warning signs can seen through disrespect, manipulation, and when someone continues to be dishonest with you. When we ignore these red flags, we put ourselves in harm’s way and hinder our ability to build healthy relationships with those who do genuinely want to see the best for us. It is important to pay attention to the actions and behaviors of the people in your life. If something feels off, address it directly and seek the counsel of other friends or family that you do trust to see if they are seeing those red flags as well.

Focusing on Flaws Instead of Strengths

We are all guilty of this one. Many of us focus on flaws instead of strengths in our relationships. This negative perspective can lead to constant criticism and damage the bond between two people. Instead, it’s important to focus on the strengths of the people in our lives. This includes acknowledging their accomplishments, admiring their unique qualities, and expressing gratitude for their presence in our lives. Another thing that you can do is write down things that you are thankful for each day. You could even do that for the person you are in a relationship which will help you focus on the positives and not solely the negative attributes.

Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships, but this is not something everyone attempts to practice. Emotional intelligence includes the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize and respond to the emotions of others. Without this skill, we risk damaging our relationships and hindering our ability to achieve success because of our inability to properly relate to our co-workers, boss, clients, family and friends. To avoid this mistake, it’s important to be aware of your own emotions and to take responsibility for them.

Playing the Blame Game

Playing the blame game is another common thing people do in their relationships. Instead of taking responsibility for our own actions and addressing issues head-on, we tend to blame others for our problems. This behavior can cause resentment in our relationships and hinder our progress that we may have been trying to improve upon. To avoid this, it’s crucial to take ownership of our mistakes and work collaboratively towards solutions.

Failing to Listen

Listening is an essential aspect of any healthy relationship. However, many of us fail to listen actively, which leads to misunderstandings and conflicts. By actively listening to our loved ones, we can gain valuable insights and build stronger connections. To do this, we should make an effort to understand our loved ones’ perspectives, listen without interrupting, and ask more open-ended questions. It is difficult to get anywhere if both parties ask closed ended questions and respond to questions with only “yes” or “no” all of the time.

Neglecting Communication

Finally, many of us are guilty of neglecting to properly communicate with those who are in our corner. I am guilty of this one, which is avoiding difficult conversations hoping they will just blow away. Shutting down emotionally and failing to express appreciation or affection to others is also a form of neglect. Without clear, effective communication, we risk misunderstandings, resentment, and conflict with those we truly want to feel loved and to feel loved by. To help avoid making this a normal habit, it is important to prioritize communication in your relationships. This includes actively listening, expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, and seeking resolution to conflicts in a healthy way.

Maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for our journey’s success, but it’s an area in which many of us struggle day-by-day, so do not feel like you are alone if you feel as if you are still growing in either of these areas because we all are. We can build stronger relationships and achieve greater success in our lives by focusing on these areas. Remember to surround yourself with wise counsel, pay attention to your emotions and the emotions of others, and prioritize communication in all of your relationships. The hope is that with these perspectives, behaviors, and habits that we will be well on our way to supporting a life full of healthy, supportive relationships.